Pluses and Minuses

So I recently started a new venture. Whenever a friend asks about it, I state “Pluses and minuses”. Some people take it as a negative while others understand I’m just paying my dues. Here is how I look at life. You must take the bad with the good. There’s no such thing as perfection but a happy medium can usually be found.

I find myself blessed to be in a therapist position. This is not a job that comes easy and for good reason. When you take on such a role, you also take the responsibility of affecting a person, their immediate circle and sometimes even more. You must not only understand the severity but also respect the honor of holding this position. Now with that said, you also have to know that you will find yourself drained more times than revived from sessions.

My new position requires 100% of me Monday thru Sunday. I find myself waking early to do work and then fighting myself to take a break. The paperwork never ends, clients do not always show up on time or on the right day. It can really have its moments.

Still, there are many pluses. For instance, I have my own practice. That’s a definite step up. Supportive colleagues and a tight circle, this is very important in my occupation. Then of course my clients, there are no words to describe the feeling you get when you see growth or a client’s satisfaction of their session.

So whenever I find myself frustrated with a situation or life in general. I remember Pluses and Minuses is what it’s all about right now.


Happy Place

For as long as I can remember, I have always had a happy place. I actually use to refer to it as “the place I am the most happiest” before the term Happy Place became household.

I’m a born and bred Brooklynite but spent a majority of my childhood and preteens visiting with my grandfather in the lower east side of Manhattan better known as LES. He actually introduced me to the Williamsburg Bridge and LES which forever has had me torn between both boroughs. I have loved and loathed both boroughs at any appointed time in my life but they hold special memories like no other place in this world.

I can still vividly remember holding my grandfathers’ hand as he walked us across the bridge for the first time while my older siblings ran ahead being silly. I remember feeling so special, like he was sharing a secret with me. At that time, the boroughs were more separate to me than the East River that divided them. My grandfather might have seen it as an easy day trip but to me it was a doorway into a new and exciting world. Those trips continued more regularly after my grandfather transplanted himself in the borough.

As I got older, the visits with my grandfather became more one on one. My siblings were teens and in their own world. He and I learned early that we shared a common love for peace and water. So on nice weather days we would walk around the neighborhood and then end up at “our” spot. It was an old bench on the East River Park under the Williamsburg Bridge. He and I would just sit there staring out over the water and beyond. We rarely went into conversation which is a rarity if you know me. We would just sit there and enjoy the peace, listening to the water hit against the boulders on the bridge, cars and trains passing overhead and the usual jogger.

I grew to cherish and look forward to those moments with my grandfather. I would refer to them as Saturdays with Grandpa, years after his death. Even though, I did not get to see him as often as I would have liked. My best Saturdays were always with him and my mind chose to only remember Saturdays with him.

I was not able to return to our spot for a long time physically but in moments of strife, homesick or anger I would travel back in my mind. It is then that I realized my “happy place” was a simple old bench by the East River under a noisy bridge. My Happy Place has helped me so much and kept precious memories alive. I have also been able in recent years to make new memories at my “happy place” with family and friends. It is no longer a place of solitude unless I need it to be but more of life, energy and happiness.

What is your Happy Place?

A good resource or a bad influence

A good resource or a bad influence

As I continue to grow in age and awareness I find myself contemplating more on my presence in the lives of those around me as well as vice versa. I always say, “If you’re not adding to the situation, you’re taking away. I interpret this as meaning; if you cannot add positivity in any form then you should respectfully decline any interference.

This stirred up my thinking of a good resource or a bad influence.

A resource is defined as an element of value in any capacity that can be used by a person or entity to enhance their function (paraphrased). Whereas the meaning of influence is the capacity to affect the character, development or behavior on someone or something (paraphrased).

So I started to review if I was a good resource or a bad influence to those around me. I started to see how powerful my words could be at times but even more so my body language. Something I need to be more mindful of going forward. I also saw how I was able to create calm, clarity and support in times of need. As well as take leave when I didn’t feel I could be useful to a situation.

Then I started to review if people in my life were good resources or bad influences. There are several that always know what to say and for that I am eternally grateful. But then there were a few who created more chaos than calm. It made for an interesting time. In the end, I realized we are very much our environment whether we realize or want to admit it.

So I ask YOU, are you a good resource or a bad influence to people in your life. Also, how are the people in your life to you?

Right around the bend

Right around the bend


Lately, this saying has been lingering in my head. At first, I assumed due to my many loving and supportive family/friends/peers. Now I wonder am I still hopeful… that right around the bend could be all I ever imagined.

Have you ever found yourself accepting that certain things will never be?

Or that your heart’s desire is incorrect?

Yet, at the least of moments it all changes.

Because what you couldn’t see was that it was right around the bend.

I’ve come to believe that in life there are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. I can’t say I fully understand the theory behind a butterfly flaps it wings in New York and a storm happens in China. Still, there appears to be a purpose to everything, good and bad.

So what are you hoping is right around the bend?